The peak of PMS has passed and I'm back to taking responsibility for my own life and analyzing the choices I made along the way. My mom called to chat and gracefully pointed out that yes, my memory is very selective. There were sympathetic teachers and I realize that I wasn't often discouraged from doing things but wasn't self-motivated to come up with a lot of cool things on my own.
Other people didn't think nurse was a good match for me necessarily either but were kind enough to be supportive of what I said I wanted. It creeps me out a bit that that's the kind of friend I am. If you say you want to do something, it is my job to support what you say you want. Who am I to question it? It's particularly frustrating when my gut is saying it's all wrong but I'm not brave enough to confront a friend. It's easier through work in a professional relationship but it will always be a challenge for me.
My mom reminded me that I considered taking a recreation degree...now that would have been a great match. I don't recall a lot of support and ultimately rejected it because it seemed too frivolous (not serious academic study!) and impractical - no obvious job at grad. Say WHAT!? I can't come up with any other reason I didn't pursue it. And to think I ended up with a psych degree that time around. That's super practical and about a tenth of the fun.
No matter how inaccurate my memories are, I'm left with my impressions and how they've shaped me. Learning from it, adjusting those perspectives and growing from there are the challenges. It's all good.
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