sanity

Or a lack thereof.

Jeremy's done a great job of capturing Ezra's cuteness and insane demands so I won't elaborate too much. Suffice it to say he (Ez, not Jeremy) saps almost all of my time and energy. Otherwise known as my mojo. He makes the girls look like angels but I'm frustrated by how little I have left to give them.

For the record I don't think I'll ever bother posting about the eczema issue again. Partly because although it's important to me it must be unbelievably dull to read about but also because at some point between the time I hit "publish post" and the time it shows up on a feed it takes a dramatic turn for the worse. I spent the day in doctors offices again yesterday and it sucked.

Given the above two paragraphs, here is some light reading on stupid things I've done as a result of this state of mind. I had an evening "off" to hang out with a dear friend and was anxious to get an early start to meet her. I knew the car on "empty" though so I started the outing at the gas station. It had a lineup of vehicles desperate to pump that liquid gold into the tanks. So I backed out and headed to the next one down the road. It didn't have pay at the pumps which always irritates me because I have to guess how much I'm going to use and pre-pay inside. I walked back out and started filling but it kept clicking off unless I slowed it to a trickle. I used to work as a gas jockey and tanks like that drove me nuts. It didn't occur to me that I've never had that problem before until gas splashed out all over my hand, car and feet. It cost me $4 to TOP up the tank and bathe in gasoline. On a normal day I would have noticed that Jeremy had driven the vehicle and filled it up a few hours earlier. I had to go back in, red-faced and stinky to ask for a refund because I didn't actually need gas.

Yesterday I hustled Ivy out the door before she was finished chewing her lunch because we were late for her class. I had to pack up Ez and take Ella because Jeremy was in a phone meeting. Everyone was feeling grouchy and rushed and there were sharp words all around. We showed up at the class and something was wrong...all the other students were still outside and her teacher wasn't waiting at the door. I STILL didn't figure it out. I walked Ivy up to class after getting the other kids out of the car and finding a parking spot. The classroom was empty except for the teacher calmly planning her lesson that wasn't going to start for another 15 minutes.

I'm used to feeling at least baseline competent but these two incidents have shaken my confidence. I've been late to appointments and meetings more often that I would like since having #3 but I usually have a pretty good grip on the actual time. I know sanity will return. I only hope it's sooner rather than later and that I don't do something really damaging before then!