may long

We had a fabulous May long weekend, thanks to Angelo & Esther for coming up to visit. It was quite a luxury to make a pregnancy related comment and have someone know exactly what I meant, probably even before I was done saying it. On that front, I've now reached the delightful stage of feeling like my skin is ripping open once in a while and the sore hips at night are making an appearance. I feel wonderful most of the time though, despite little buddy packing on the weight. If you were hoping to hear something un-pregancy related...sorry, that's pretty much the focus at the moment.

The backstory to the photo is that I ran out to the garden right after a hailstorm to check on the plants - without my shoes. My feet were so cold I had to jump up on the landscaping tie on my way back to regain the feeling in them before I made it back into the house!

quilt

I finally managed to get this quilt done for my mom in time for Mother's Day! I've been working on it for over a year off and on. It's got more sentimental value than most I've made before. Some of the squares were made by my Grandma (mom's mom) and I inherited them. I don't think I could have pulled off a remotely unified look though if Rose hadn't donated some of her stash of vintage fabrics to me (thanks!). A big thanks also goes to Marj for personally delivering it to Winnipeg.

I could get mushy here but I'll just leave it at "I love my mom and miss her a lot". We're very much looking forward to my parents spending some extended time here in summer in their new "in-law suite".

RELAX

I think I need to come clean after my glowing "bring it on" in my last post. I'm physically feeling great, perhaps my body is bored by this pregnancy thing. Been there, done that, no need to freak out. My mind isn't keeping up as well. I've been pretty sour the last few weeks.

I feel burned out on the daily routine and am starting to have those dreams about being trapped and neglecting my children. Who has been pregnant and NOT had nightmares about forgetting your baby somewhere? I seem to have no reserve of patience and the kids are getting the butt end of that. How on earth I'm going to fit in caring for an infant on top of that is stretching my mind. Oh yes, Jeremy is going to take some parental leave from work to protect my sanity.

I'm pretty sure a good part of it is hormonal because I occasionally wake up in a complete fit of joy about the glorious state of my life. Aside from keeping the kids fed and safe and occasionally even happy during the day, I have very few demands on my time. We can pack up for the beach or park at any time and just lounge or maybe take some crayons and paper and sit at the coffee shop for an hour. That's a good lifestyle by my standards. I really believe that generally I have a fabulous setup so it's all the more frustrating when I can't talk myself out of a crappy day(week). I don't recall all of this being as intense with the other pregnancies although I wasn't also caring for two kids the other times.

Some of it is just real processing about what the next two years are going to look like. I have really been enjoying my relative freedom from the intense needs of infant & toddler and I have to buck up to go back into it. Funny thing about babies, they don't give you a choice about this stuff once it's all in motion.

I love babies/kids and I know we'll figure it out just fine, but it's a different stage yet again and change doesn't seem to come that easily. Is that a sign of advancing age? Plus the change hasn't happened yet so I need to just kick back and enjoy the relative leisure. Appreciate the girls and the uninterrupted time I have with them now. Somehow it's so hard to RELAX when I'm yelling at myself to do it.